goodtobebad | open post;

[Aziraphale's blush returns and he fumbles with his wine glass before frowning at himself. Why should he be embarrassed about this?]

I've comforted humans on occasion, when they've been sick or scared. But... no, not in the sense of simply holding someone else for the pleasure of it. That... felt like crossing a line somehow.

You’ve never been afraid to cross lines before, to help humans.

[ He leans over, his head almost touching the angel’s shoulder. ]

And... and I know plenty of humans who would’ve been happy to...

[Aziraphale doesn't scoot over when Crowley leans into his space, although he does look away, that soft blush remaining on his face.]

I don't think I'd enjoy it very much if it wasn't someone I already cared about deeply. I've met some lovely humans over the years, but they're still human. They're here for a moment and then gone.

[There's also the fact that there's only one being he's ever wanted to cuddle in the first place, but he's only a drink into this conversation, so he swallows that fact down with the rest of his wine and then pours himself another glass.]

What about you? I never pegged you for the cuddly sort, but it sounds like you enjoy that sort of thing.

Mmm, welllll... there’s been a few over the years...

[ He keeps it vague. Is he even talking about “cuddling” at this point? ]

I’m a demon. Humans like to tempt each other with that sort of thing all the time, I figured I’d better know something about it...

I see... and yet you texted me to come over...

[That has to mean something, doesn't it? Crowley could have become physically close to any of those humans in the club. But he texted Aziraphale.

Very gently, he knocks his knee into Crowley's.]

What's it like?

Well yeah, I’m not doing Hell’s bidding anymore, am I? Can... spend time with any celestial beings I like.

[ He doesn’t have to pretend anymore. ]

What’s what like?

It's the same for me, Crowley.

[He says it quietly, like he's confessing a secret. Another sip of wine, and he feels brave enough to smile.]

Cuddling. You're the expert here, my dear.

Not an expert.

[ Far from it, really. ]

But. Uh, well, ‘s nice sometimes. To... cuddle. Warm. Humans drool sometimes, though. And then some of them want other things.

Enough of an expert to know that you're cuddly.

[He listens, genuinely curious. His brow wrinkles at the drooling. And the mention of 'other things'.]

That's why I never indulged. But... um. If you... were still interested...?

[He hasn't forgotten how inebriated Crowley is, but this seems safe enough. A little indulging between friends.]

[ Crowley slithers forward, pressing his face to Aziraphale’s shoulder and wrapping his free arm around his waist. ]

You sure? I won’t drool on you and ruin your jacket, promise.

[Aziraphale lets out a little exhale and doesn't move for a second or two. Then, carefully, he wraps an arm around Crowley's shoulders.]

I'm sure. And if you do drool, you can always miracle it away.

[He shifts a little, relaxing into the back of the sofa. Crowley wasn't kidding, this is warm. This is so warm. Should it be this warm? He feels flushed, and Crowley's hair is tickling his chin, and everything about this is perfect.]

[ It is nice. Crowley, being a serpent after all, loves the warmth, soaks it up greedily, but doesn’t do more than what he’s already done. He can feel Aziraphale starting to relax by turns, and that... that’s good. His mind is still fuzzy with drink, he hasn’t sobered up, but he’s aware of how big a step forward this is, all the same. ]

‘S not. Uh. Not too fast for you, then?

[ His voice is uncharacteristically quiet, uncertain even. Almost mumbled into the angel’s neck, like he’s not sure he wants Aziraphale to hear him. ]

[The question starts up a painful ache in Aziraphale's heart. It's the way Crowley says it, as if he's waiting for the angel to come to his senses and push him away. So, instead, he does the opposite, gathering Crowley a bit closer with the arm around his shoulders, holding him firmly against his warm body.]

No, not at all.

[He sets aside his glass of wine and wraps that arm around him in turn so that Crowley is in a full embrace.]

The truth is, I've been wanting to do this for quite some time.

[ Crowley is quiet for a moment at that admission. It startles him a little, not sure he ever expected the angel to say anything like that to him.

Or wrap him so thoroughly in an embrace, for that matter, at which he lets out a totally unnecessary, shuddering breath. ]

What, really? Me?

Yes, you.

[There is laughter in his voice, but there is a bit of a sob caught in there, too. He turns his head to let Crowley's hair brush against his cheek, inhaling the demon's familiar and comforting scent.]

Only you.

... right.

[ Still drunk, still warm, still trying to wrap his head around this new development, Crowley is even less articulate than usual. ]

Never tempted you, y’know. Not... uh. Well, wasn’t in the job description, tempting angels. Never wanted... I mean... ngk.

[ Is it so hard for him to say “I wanted you to like me for real”? Yeah. It is. ]

Just... like bein’ around you.

I know, my dear. Everything I've ever done with you, it's been of my own volition.

[One of his hands begins to move in small, comforting circles between Crowley's shoulder blades. His words come much more easily, although that ache in his chest remains.]

I like being around you, too. I always have. [His voice wavers slightly.] I know I wasn't always the best at showing you that, and for that I am very sorry.

Naaaaaaaah. I know.

[ He scoffs, melting into the embrace even more, going boneless at the gentle touches - even more than he already was, that is. ]

They could’ve - would’ve - hurt you, if they’d found out. ‘Sides, we had some good times despite them.

[That's a relief to hear, and Aziraphale relaxes even more as a result, snuggling against Crowley while he continues to touch him. Crowley is right, he is cuddly.]

They would have hurt you. [He sighs softly.] I was worried about what Heaven would think, of course, but I was worried about you, too. I don't know what I would have done if I had lost you.

[All that business with the holy water... he shivers and holds Crowley a little tighter.]

I don't mean to discount all the time we've spent together, I've cherished every moment of it. You're my best friend, Crowley. Always.

Best friend. Yeah.

[ It’s nice to hear Aziraphale finally say that aloud, because it’s true. It’s been true for Crowley for a long time. More than that, even. Best friends, yes, and more than that, for Crowley, and he’s still drunk but he must not be drunk enough to overcome his cowardice and say the other three words that press at his tongue more and more the past couple of centuries, because he knows the angel likes him but that doesn’t mean he’d want to hear I love you from a demon, even the demon who is his best friend and currently cuddling with him on the sofa.

But they have time again - a lot of time, and Crowley’s gotten good at being patient. Now that they’re on their own side properly, maybe... maybe it could happen, eventually. And in the meantime, he’s got this. He’s got a lovely, warm, soft angel holding him, being his best friend. ]

Y’smell good.

[ That’s a thing he can say, at least. ]

[It's genuine, spoken from the heart, a giant step forward from declaring to anyone remotely within earshot that they weren't friends, that he didn't even like Crowley. And yet, it doesn't encompass nearly the entire truth, that Aziraphale has loved Crowley for quite some time, and not the general love an angel has for all of Creation, either. His love for Crowley is very, very personal, but he's not sure if now is the best time to say it. 'Love' is a four-letter word, after all, and he's only just discovered the sheer joy of cuddling with Crowley. He doesn't want to ruin the mood.

(A tiny voice in his head is telling him that he's being utterly ridiculous, but he hears that tiny voice a lot and has gotten good at ignoring it.)

Crowley's compliment breaks him out of his thoughts and he giggles at the unexpectedness of it.]

Oh... well, thank you. It's a cologne that my barber recommended.

[A pause as he breathes in contentedly.]

You smell good, too.

Nahhhh. ‘S how you’ve always smelled. Like... wine and old books.

[ Crowley is pretty sure Aziraphale smelled like old books long before the invention of the printing press. It’s just part of him. His angelicness. He takes a big, deep breath of him, face still pressed almost against his neck.

He could stay like this forever. Maybe he could talk the angel into it... ]

[Aziraphale blushes reflexively when Crowley breathes him in. I know what you smell like. He had always assumed that Crowley was being sarcastic when he said that, but now he's not so sure.]

That's probably the bookshop, then...

[One hand continues to rub in gentle circles. The other lifts and hovers uncertainly a moment before carding through Crowley's hair.]

You're very good at this. Cuddling, I mean.

[ Crowley is definitely planning some kind of smart comeback for that - the angel, after all, is the one really doing the cuddle-work here, and an excellent job of it, too.

But then there’s a hand in his hair, doing nothing so much as petting him, and it sends a wave of pleasure down his spine, shivering through the wings that aren’t physically manifest on this plane but are nonetheless there - and all that comes out of the demon’s mouth is a moan of rather helpless pleasure, almost wanton, and entirely unplanned-for. ]

[Aziraphale freezes, eyes widening in absolute astonishment. Was that... did Crowley just moan? In pleasure? He's heard the demon make a lot of sounds over the millennia, but that one is completely new.

The moan -- and the fact that he was responsible for it -- cause a curious little frisson of pleasure within him that he finds himself blushing all over again. He feels like he ought to apologize, or at least ask if Crowley's all right.

Instead, he raises his hand and runs it through Crowley's hair a second time.]

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