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Would that be so bad?

[ Crowley raises his eyebrows at Aziraphale. ]

I mean, you hate customers! Or at least, I thought you did.

[ Except, apparently, for the fellow who was in the shop this afternoon when Crowley arrived. ]

[Aziraphale looks affronted at the very suggestion of it. Never mind that he does not in fact care to sell any of his books and goes out of his way himself to get rid of his customers out of hand.]

Hate them! I don't -- hate my customers.

[His expression pinches slightly, before he continues to amend:] Hate is a very strong word. Look, that is besides the point.

[He gestures towards the front door and the direction of the departing woman.] You've really outdone yourself today. [It isn't a compliment.]

You usually do everything possible to avoid having them in the shop!

[ Crowley scowls at the angel. ]

Except today, apparently!

[It's the second time that Crowley's repeated the odd phrasing (except today?) and Aziraphale wrinkles his nose at him in return.]

Apparently?

[Aziraphale shifts and moves to cross his arms across his chest.]

Crowley, I have no idea what's gotten you in such a state, but I really must insist that you don't take it out on my poor customers.

Don't act all innocent with me, angel. I saw that human flirting with you! And you were definitely encouraging him, don't pretend like you weren't.

[ Crowley moves to flop into an armchair with a huff. ]

[Aziraphale's jaw drops. Whatever he had expected to be Crowley's complaint, it certainly hadn't been that. In fact, he's not even certain what to say in response to this supposed accusation, though he musters himself in the end.]

I -- what? What? Now -- now wait just a moment!

[Not that Crowley is exactly going anywhere, but that is besides the point.]

My dear, I have positively no idea what it is you are talking about! I've been here in this shop all afternoon, and hardly anyone has even given me the time of day because you've been so dreadful towards them. I'd barely opened after our ten o'clock break for that nice young man when you'd...

[He trails off after a moment, before his expression adopts another picture of surprise.] Surely you don't mean -- !

Who else would I mean? He was the only one who flirted with you!

[ He's in full blown hissy fit now. Say the wrong thing and he'll be a snake for the rest of the week. ]

[Aziraphale's mouth seems to be stuck permanently open. As much due to Crowley's accusation that anyone should have -- with him??? -- as due to Crowley's behavior over the matter itself.]

Well, I shouldn't think -- surely he wasn't...

[He trails off for a moment, flapping at Crowley incredulously. How could he be so angry for something that Aziraphale wasn't even aware had happened?]

My dear. [Aziraphale tries again.] He only -- he had only given me a compliment, nothing more.

Aziraphale. Angel.

[ Crowley pulls off his sunglasses to stare rather bluntly at said angel for a moment. ]

I'm a demon. You think I can't tell when a human is harboring lustful thoughts? That wasn't just a compliment. He wanted your phone number, so he could take you out to dinner and then take you home and ravish you senseless.

[As Crowley's sunglasses come off, Aziraphale feels rather inexplicably as though he is the one bared before him instead.]

I... [He hesitates, not knowing quite what to say to that.] He didn't... Did he? I mean.

[He moves to wring his hands together in front of himself, a nervous gesture if ever he had one.]

He certainly never asked, and I. I can assure you that I never gave it to him, if that is what has you in such a state...!

[To ravish him... Him? Surely not.]

[ Crowley has to admit that the angel has a point there. He didn't receive the phone number or make any assignations with the hapless human.

Still, he can't help but harumph one more time for good measure. ]

Well it seemed like you were enjoying the attention.

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